Thursday, October 21, 2010

Kids, Family, etc...

You know, it seems that no matter what age you are...childhood seems like yesterday. It feels that way to me, sometimes, anyway. I lived with my Gram & Papaw (my dad's parents) for a while when I was very young and I was very close to them. Much closer than typical grandkids, I think. I try to get over to Gram & Papaw's house as often as I can (it's a 5 hour drive). My Papaw is in his 80's and my Gram is in her late 70's. Neither are in pristine health. Over the past year or so, I've come to the grand realization that my grandparents are not going to live forever! This has been very hard for me. I can't imagine not being able to pick up the phone and call my Gram. I can't imagine her not being here to see pictures of my grandchildren. It is just so hard to think about. But I know that they are both Christians and I know where they are going for eternity, when they are no longer on this earth with me. I guess that's where God's comfort "surpasses all understanding".

I look at my own kids. Lace, Josh & Cami.

Lace makes me so proud! I have only been in her life since she was 12...but, wow, all that has happened in these almost 10 years. She has grown from an indecisive, insecure, young girl...into a decisive, secure, sometimes overly opinionated (wonder where that comes from) beautiful woman! I am very blessed to have her as, not only a daughter of mine, but a friend. Now, I just can't wait until her & Julian have kids of their own...in their own time, no rush...but, they will be fantastic parents!



Josh is my miracle baby! There is no doubt in my mind that God spared him for a reason. According to doctors and 'modern medicine', he shouldn't be here today. He shouldn't have gone beyond 8-10 weeks gestation. Then, with pre-term labor a serious concern...he 'tried' to come, 'tried' really hard to come constantly between weeks 22-34! God was protecting him. My full-term baby was born on Thursday, October 24, 1997 at 4:12pm...8 lbs. 3.5 oz...23.5 inches long! I love that boy more than words can say. He has been with me through thick & thin...literally. I truly believe God has great things in store for him. I love to watch him play football, even though I'm the mom, sitting in the bleachers, saying "ooh, don't hit my baby"...lol...John thinks I'm crazy...and I embarass Josh...but the thought of my baby boy, hurt, just hurts me. We rarely see eye-to-eye, mostly because we are so much alike. The memories we are making with him are priceless...he is getting in a habit of praying at night...John prays with him every night at bedtime. He is the most thoughtful kid, ever. He has the biggest heart...though, he doesn't just show it to anyone. I just hope that one day he knows how much I love him, from the bottom of my heart, I love him.



Camille...my little monkey! My my my...she is how I know that God has a sense of humor! I begged and begged for another baby, even.after I knew that I would not be able to carry any more. I still knew there was some way to make it happen. It happened...and she's ours. And, boy, does she keep us on our toes. God must know that I need a challenge...I don't always like a challenge...but apparently God thinks I need challenges! Cami 'can be' a sweet girl. I am so very thankful that she is ours, we love her dearly...she most definately completes our family. She provides us with so much laughter. She loves to read books...she's learning her letter sounds, so she's learning to put them together in books...she'll be reading to me before too long! She brings so much joy to our lives. I hope, one day, that she will know how we longed for her, how she truly completed our family.



Finally, my sad thought...my kids don't have the privilege of having a relationship with their grandparents like I did. John's parents are awesome, but they live far away...they will always be a part of the kids' lives, but they are not in their day-to-day life. My dad & Kayla, pretty much the same thing. They adore the kids...but they are a good distance away, and Kayla (having MS, it limits her) does what she can, but isn't able to travel much. My mom isn't far away, but isn't really the 'maternal' kind...sorry mom, if you're reading this. My mom is one of my best friends, I love her dearly...but, you know it's true. My kids simply don't have the grandparent influence that I did, as a child, and that makes me sad...because I know how much joy my grandparents brought to my life...and still do. I look at some of the ways that I do things...I took a lot from my Gram. My kids only have me to look up to. I'm okay with that, but it still makes me a little sad.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Answered Prayers...and other thoughts

Do you ever wonder how God chooses what prayers He is going to answer, when and how? I do.

I try not to be selfish when I pray. But we all pray the "God please will you..." prayers. I make sure that I truly thank God for everything in my life. Some days I mean this more than others, but I think it is very important that we whole-heartedly thank God for the life He has given us.

This brings me to my last blog post. I got on here today because I haven't blogged in a long time. Almost a month, to be exact. What's funny is that I got on here to blog in reference to an answered prayer. A constant prayer that I've prayed for many years. Something I've cried out to God about. When I re-read my last blog, I noticed that I had mentioned this very request! A very important part of my prayer was answered yesterday! A big, bold burst of God's voice spoke in my life. As I said in my previous post, I am not at a point in my life to share with the world as it is a very tender topic to me. However, I am getting there. If you are close to me, feel free to ask me about it...I just might share. God deserves the credit here, not me or anyone else!

Other than that...well, life has been pretty hectic. We made it through Homecoming...it was so fun! We had our very first Homecoming Dance, here at school. It was so fun...and ALL of the kids behaved themselves. It is awesome to see all of the changes taking place here. John and I are very blessed to still be a very active part of Happy Hill Farm Acadamy. We truly love our jobs and the entire work that God does here.

Things are looking up for Josh. He's still having some struggles with his grades, I have a feeling that school will always be a struggle for him...a constant prayer that we will have, I'm sure! This boy of mine has always had a mind of his own..."Strong-Willed" is what James Dobson calls it! lol I'd say that is an understatement to anyone who truly lives with one of these special children! We had a really good talk the other day, a really good heart-to-heart. I can tell that he is really trying...and we are doing our part.

Parenting is hard sometimes. That is an area that I am not used to handing over to God. I am working on that. God gave these children to us, he trusts us with them...that's the key. I am dedicated to trying to make God proud of how we raise His children. A difficult concept, sometimes. I think it's a little easier with our little ones'. It's much easier for me to look at the sweet, innocent face of a baby or toddler and just know that God has blessed you with that child. That sweet, innocence diminishes over time. Then, at least for me, I took over more control and quit handing it over to God. I couldn't be more wrong! No matter their age, they were God's to begin with and they still are. We are simply entrusted, by God, to bring them up into Godly men and women. That is our jobs...one of our most important jobs. Thank you, God, for trusting me enough to bless me with kiddos to raise and minister to.

To end my blog today, I'm going to copy down they lyrics to a song that has spoke to my heart today...quite often lately...I hope it can bless someone else too:

WHAT FAITH CAN DO
Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the siver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell them that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strenght to rise