Aaaahhhhhh....

Do you ever feel like that? Ahhhhh.....

I know I do. Sometimes I just want to scream, thinking I might just feel relieved if I scream loud enough!

The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is insane around here. Basketball practice, Basketball games, Choir practices, late night Choir performances, shopping, preparing for the holiday, decorating for the holiday, etc... Don't get me wrong, individually, I love each of these things...it's just that, combined, they make me crazy! And, Thanksgiving break is over...so welcome to the madness I call my life and eventhough it is insane, I love it!

On another note...my family is NOT a morning family. We stay up really late and sleep in really late! So, all week this week, we were up until at least midnight...most nights later. And we didn't usually get up until noon. My kind of week! So, last night, I put Cami to bed at 9pm. I was thinking I was off the hook, because she actually went to sleep relatively easy. BUT THEN, 5:00AM...my lovely daughter was WIDE AWAKE!! "Mommy, I'm hungry". Are you kidding? Really? Do you have any idea what time it is? Oh my goodness! So, I've been up since 5am and I've been a zombie for a couple hours now. I'm thinking this is what jet lag feels like?

On the teen-front...oh my goodness. I didn't think it was seriously possible to transform a kid. Raging hormones, entitlement issues, defiance...you name it, we're there! I sure love my baby boy...that's all I have to say about that!

My newest countdown...19 days till Christmas vacation...in South Padre!!

Blessings and changes...

Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am.

I have been reading some life-changing books over the past several weeks. Karen Kingsbury "Redemption Series", I finished...now I'm onto the "Firstborn Series", I'm starting book 4 today! I am hooked. I have read these 8 books faster than I've ever read in my life...they are soooo good. I encourage anyone...anyone...to read these. Boy, I wish my husband would read!

That brings me to the reason I wanted to blog tonight...not really to 'talk' about the Karen Kingsbury books, but I guess they are the reason for the way I've been thinking lately. I have wanted to make some changes in my life for quite some time now. I have finally been given the kick in the rear to DO it! God's kicks don't feel too good. But, they are unmistakable that's for sure.

I have done a lot of thinking about what I am thankful for...and that is all fine, but what do I want to change or add to my life to make it more fulfilling? A life God wants for me. A life God wants for my family.

Don't get me wrong. I have a great life. I have a wonderful husband. I have awesome children.

I am very wasteful with my time. I do not appreciate my husband as much as I should. I do not honor my husband as I always should. I don't always appreciate my kids. Sometimes I take the great things that God has given for granted. I don't always listen for that obvious voice of God in my daily decisions. I don't read my Bible the way I should, to be totally honest, I don't always want to. I watch way too much TV. I procrastinate...a lot! I could go on and on...but I'll leave it at that for now.

God has used these fictional stories, so carefully crafted, so work in my life! So, these are some of the areas I plan to get to work on. Now. Today (I am writing this after I've thought all day...lol).

I am not a good communicator. For anyone who knows me well, this may come as a suprise to you...because I LOVE talking. But there is a huge difference in talking and true communication. Big difference! I can always talk. But, I don't often really open up. And, I'm surely not going to just open up to anyone. So, that is one thing I plan to work on...my communication, with everyone in my life...starting with my God! Today, I cancelled some of the shows I normally TiVo...some because of the content that I shouldn't be watching anyway (yep, I was convicted) and some because I want to spend more time away from the TV!!

I am very sarcastic. In some ways this can be good. In some ways it isn't. One thing I do, often, is talk sarcastically to my husband and children. My words aren't always taken the way I meant them to be. This can lead to confusion and any mix of feelings from them. And, it can hint of disrespect. How can I expect my kids to respect others when I don't always treat others with respect? In no way do I truly want to disrespect my husband! I will work on showing him more respect. I am also working on showing my kids more respect. Today, I talked respectfully to both of my children and my husband!

I am a decent housekeeper, but not the best. I want to work on getting things done better, quicker. Not let dishes sit in the sink. Not let laundry sit in the basket. How can I expect my kids to do things that I, myself do not do? Today, I washed, dried, folded, hung up and put away 5 full loads of laundry!! Today, I kept all dishes washed, dried and put away...all day!! Today, I dusted my house. Today, I have done good! Tomorrow, I'll add making the bed!

I dwell on the past. I am horrible about this. I have been working on forgiveness (of myself and others) lately. I think that's where a lot of these other things has originated from, honestly. I am working on this. I am doing better...all with God's help of course. I couldn't do it myself. It is definately not human nature to forgive...it is human nature to remember! I am working with God and against human nature...we'll see how this goes, it is also an ongoing project!

I am trying to get more excercise. I lost a little bit of weight over the past few months and it has felt good. I know that my body is a temple that God gave me to cherish. I need to take care of it, honor my body, treat it the way God wants me to. I am walking at least a mile or two every weekday...to start, I'll work my way up from there. That is another ongoing project!

I think that's plenty to work on for now...please pray for me. I am also wanting to increase and improve my prayer time. God deserves more of my time (and that great communication that I'm already so good at!).

I welcome any comments and/or advice if you want to share with me.

Thanksgiving is coming...

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, (I can't believe 2010 is nearly over already!) I am reminded of things that I am thankful for. I think many of us think along these lines at this time of year (I hope so anyway) but oftentimes I fail to truly thank God for all the many blessings in my life. And, to thank those in my life for the many blessings they provide.

I am thankful for God, in all His infinate wisdom and power...for sending his one and only son to die for ME!

I am thankful that I live in the United States. That I was given the freedom to worship God and have the freedom that so many military men and women have died to help provide. That this country still stands on the principles that God provides, through His Word.

I am thankful for the husband that God gave me. That I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we were meant for eachother! I love my husband.

I am thankful for how my husband treats me. He helps out around the house, he puts laundry away, he's not afraid to do the dishes, he's not perfect...but, he's perfect for me!

I am thankful Josh. I am thankful for the sensitive, charming, blessing that he is in my life. When I look in his eyes, I am reminded of the great responsibility that God has given me. I love my boy.

I am thankful for Lace. I am thankful that she accepted me, with open arms, and we never had the stereotypical "step" relationship. She has grown into a beautiful woman, inside and out. I love Lace.

I am thankful for Julian. I am thankful that he is such a perfect fit for Lace. They are such a great match. I am thankful that they found eachother and that he didn't let us run him off when they were teenagers!

I am thankful for Cami. I am thankful for that second chance at being a mom. When I thought I'd never have that 2nd chance, Cami came along! I look forward to every growing moment with her. She blesses our lives, daily. I love my princess.

I am thankful for my Gram. My dad's mom, who I lived with for a while as a young child. I am so very close to my Gram. I am so thankful to have her in my life, to learn from, to visit with, to confide in. I love my Gram.

I am thankful for my parents. I wasn't raised in a Christian, church-going family. I always knew about God. I always knew that my parents did their best for me. Eventhough my mom and dad were divorced, they always thought of me first. I never had to wonder who my dad was or whether they loved me or not. They weren't perfect, but I was made for them and I love them!

I am thankful for my husband's family. I just love them! Their whole family is just awesome!

I am thankful for my siblings...Lauren, Jamie, Jason & Cody. Lauren, I never imagined I'd share the relationship with her that I do...she is truly a blessing in my life. Jamie, we were pretty close when we were little...not so much since we've grown up...but I am still thankful for my older brother! Jason, my baby brother...I love that boy and am so thankful he's mine! And Cody...we were only a part of eachother's lives for about 8 or 9 years, then we lost contact until recently...I am so thankful to have found him again! I love them all!!


I am thankful for great friends. Tonia, who has been my best friend since high school...we have, literally, seen eachother through thick and thin...I love Tonia! Emily, who I vent to, confide in, share crazy job stories with, and just enjoy being with! Buffy, who I know I can call on anytime I need to pray or a 'pick me up', she's a blast to be with too! I can't name everyone...but I love and thank God for good friends!

I am thankful for all of the kids in my life...my kids at work, the kids we've had at work in the past...Christopher, Hailey, Erika, Justin, Devin, Sophia, Letty, Shelby, Erin, John, Dylan, Andy, Sean, James, just to name a few!

I am thankful for my job. I never thought I would be able to work with my husband, but it works. Knowing that we are doing God's work, makes it that much better. Without God, we couldn't do it. We love our kids, our co-workers and the ministry that we are a part of at "The Hill"!

I am thankful that through my job, my kids get the privilege of a Christian, private school education. This, is invaluable to me! A huge blessing in our lives, something I hope will enrich their lives for years to come.

I am thankful for modern technology...the automobile, electric stove, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, HDTV, TiVo, water filter, electric coffee pot, cell phones, text messaging, computer, internet, etc...all the simplicities we typically take for granted these days.

I am thankful for the gift of forgiveness. It mends hearts...of those giving and recieving forgiveness...it is truly a God given thing!

I am thankful for the grace that God shows me daily.

I am thankful for my health and the good health of my family.

Oh my goodness...I am overwhelmed by everything I am thankful for! This is only a fraction of the things flowing through my heart of the thing that I feel I should thank God for. But, I need to get off here...so I should end now.

Fall Fun...

I am SO glad Summer is over! That is, until it gets TOO cold...then I'll change my mind.

Since we work where we do, our individual time with our own children is a little different than the ordinary family. In some ways, it's better and in other ways, it's not so wonderful. But, we love our job and the way it all manages to work together...most days!

I have about 2 1/2 hours every afternoon that I get to spend alone with Cami. Unfortunately, she tends to be a little cranky at this time. I can't let her nap, or else she won't sleep at night. So, I just deal with and love my cranky little girl every afternoon! I am trying to figure out some creative, fun things to do with her on these days. Today, we make hot chocolate and topped it with colorful marshmallows! She had fun, but it was only a project...she didn't like the drink. I'm not too disappointed, since I'm really trying to get her back into the healty habit of eating good. When she was really young, I was so particular about what she ate. Lucky for me, she's not too bad about junk as it is...thank God!

We took all of the kids to the park this past Saturday. We had a lot of fun. Josh and the rest of the boys played football with some other kids that were hanging out there. I took pics of the boys playing, but I am not allowed to post pics of our 'farm' kids on the internet. Cami and I played around, I swung her on the tire swing, we piled up leaves, then Cami picked them all up and tossed them in the air!!





We had Josh's 13th birthday party last weekend. I cannot believe my little boy is 13 years old! We had planned to take him to ride go-carts, but it rained. So, we went to Main Event. We played Laser Tag and all sorts of other games. He brought a friend with him, so he and his friend went and did 'their thing' and played around most of the day. I really enjoy the time I get with Josh. These days, he doesn't enjoy just hanging out with Mom and Dad too much. Luckily, he doesn't think we're complete idiots (yet). I wish I could rewind time with him. I feel like so much time has just literally flown by. I love and adore my little boy. I love how beautiful his piercing blue eyes are. I love his genuine smile, it melts my heart. I love how he still has no problem hugging and kissing his Mom and Dad goodnight, every night. I love how tenderhearted he is. I love that he accepted Christ into his heart at the young age of 6. I love his eagerness to be good and kind. I pray for many things for his life. I pray that he will succeed in school. I pray for him to excel in whatever he chooses to do after High School. I pray that he will grow up to be an honest, loving, kindhearted, God-loving, God-seeking man. I pray that he will fall in love with a Christian girl. I pray for his future wife. I pray for his future child(ren). I pray that we never part ways while here on this earth. I pray that we will always be close. I love my boy and am so thankful that God chose me to be his Mom!